


Calling Doctor Prank

by orphan_account



Series: The Teenvengers [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Bruce doesn't want to know, Natasha is pissed, Thor is surprisingly stealthy, exploding blenders, military tactics used for pranking purposes, old people are assholes, pudding is everywhere, steve and bucky are little shits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury thinks it's a good idea to place seven teenagers in a building together without consistent adult supervision. Fury has had better ideas. Not only do the Avengers argue, they trick others into arguing with each other. No continuity. Don't need to read previous stories to understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calling Doctor Prank

**Author's Note:**

> They're all teenagers. For more in-depth, read the description of the series.

So, just to set the record straight, Bucky Barnes did not have have the market on asshole old men corned. Nope, Bucky was actually a fairly upstanding citizen most of the time. It was when Steve got together with Bucky that bad things happened...

So far, they'd rigged the blender to explode on the next person to use it (which would be Thor or Tony, as they were the only people who actually used that thing), taped every single faucet in the house, and changed Sam's ringtone to someone yelling "I'm a bird mofo! Caw caw!" Clint was currently in the kitchen, quietly playing on his phone and absent-mindedly eating a bowl of cereal. 

 

Thor came in and greeted Clint quite cheerfully. Clint grinned. 

 

"Morning big guy, you're up early."

 

"I could say the same for you. It is a rare day when one sees you up before noon at the week's end."

 

Clint shrugged. "Got my sleep quota filled and couldn't stand the taste of my own breath. I figured it was time to get up."

 

Thor started to put fruit and protein powder in the blender, and Clint put his empty bowl in the sink at the same moment the blender turned on. 

 

The blender exploded with the force of a small bomb, covering the pair of them with fruit and a fine coating of protein powder. 

 

Sam walked into the kitchen a minute after and burst out laughing. "You look like a pair of sludge people!"

 

  
_'Sam. That motherfucker,'_ Clint thought.

 

Clint and Thor left to go get cleaned up, and Sam went to get himself a cup of water. The sink exploded all over him.

 

  
_'Rude,'_ he thought, and wondered who it could have been. 

 

...

 

Tony dragged himself over to the coffee maker, turning it on before thumping his head onto the counter. He was so damn tired. Maybe he shouldn't have stayed up all night working on stretchy pants for Bruce... At least they were done now.

 

The coffee was salty and completely undrinkable. 

 

Tony spat it out and collapsed on the couch to sleep instead. 

 

...

 

Natasha was carefully straightening her hair. She wanted it to look different for the mission she had coming up, and straight was the simplest way to go. 

 

She finished and examined it in the mirror. Perfect. She turned around and screamed when the ground was covered in bright red hair, as though it had all been burned off. Natasha was irrationally horrified before realizing it was a prank.

 

"Jarvis, who was the last person in my room before me?" she asked sweetly. 

 

"It was Tony," Jarvis said shamelessly. 

 

_'That asshole!'_

 

...

 

Tony was laying on the couch, and woke up to see writing on his face in the mirror in the kitchen. He squinted in attempt to read what was written backwards on his forehead, and his face contorted with rage when he realized what it said. 

 

Black Widow's Bitch?

In Natasha's unmistakeable neat handwriting.  

 

"Natashaaaaaaa!!!!"

 

...

 

Sam was taking a relaxing shower when he was sprayed with freezing cold purple Kool-aid. He screamed and jumped out, dripping with purple dye.

 

"Jarvis, who messed with my shower?"

 

"Clint," Jarvis answered. 

 

...

 

Jarvis was enjoying himself as much as an AI could. Steve, Thor, and Bucky were having a great time, and he only had to play a small part to see the results. He really was glad that Sir had modeled him off of the first Jarvis as well as he had. The man had possessed a wicked sense of humor. 

 

...

 

"Tony Stark!" Natasha yelled, striding into the kitchen. "What did you do to my straightener?"

 

"What did you do to my face?!"

 

"Your face was always that ugly! Clearly someone else improved it!"

 

"It was you!"

 

"The guy playing the pranks is Clint!" Sam announced, storming into the room. "He was up early today and he tried to throw us off the scent by being there when the blender exploded."

 

"Lies! Lies and slander!" Clint protested. "You're the one to rig the blender to explode, you arrived just in time to see it happen!"

 

"Tony's the only one who even knows how to do that!" Natasha pointed out. 

 

...

 

Steve, Bucky, and Thor were watching, courtesy of Jarvis, in Bucky's bedroom, eating popcorn.

 

"I am truly glad I found you placing the kool-aid in Sam's shower," Thor said. "It gives me the opportunity to witness this chaos of accusations."

 

Bucky laughed and watched as Natasha started hitting Clint with a rolled-up newspaper. 

 

"It was nice of you to place the hair behind Natasha. You're very stealthy for such a tall guy," Steve said. 

 

"Thank you. Your writing on Tony's face was masterful."

 

...

 

"I'm not in league with Tony, dammit Natasha!" Clint tried to duck away from the newspaper. 

 

"Wait, everyone hold up for a moment. Why do you think I messed with your straightener?" Tony asked Natasha. 

 

"Jarvis told me."

 

Tony's eyes widened. "BUCKY BARNES YOU LITTLE SHIT!" he screamed. 

 

...

 

Steve, Bucky, and Thor traded looks. 

 

"Shit," Bucky said. 

 

"Well said," Thor and Steve chimed at once. 

 

The three of them took off to the elevator and went out for pizza. 

 

...

Hours later, the three of them dared to return to the mansion. 

 

They were met with a verifiable waterfall of pink slime falling on their heads, and Natasha, Tony, and clint standing above looking victorious (Sam had to be home for dinner on time). They were dyed pink for three days straight. 

 

Thus ended the first and last Avengers prank war. 

 

Bruce emerged from his lab the day after the war and decided not to ask. There were some things he was better off not knowing. 

 

...

 

Even Dr. Doom's doombots looked a bit confused at the bright pink skin of the Avenger Thor. 

 

"What?"

 

"What?"

 

"What?"

 

A chorus of the word rose up from the ranks as the swarm of doombots circled the tower. 

 

Sam arrived at the tower, a bit late because apparently his room had to be clean before he could save his friends' lives. Moms, honestly. 

 

He shot his red wing tips at the doombots, and nearly fell in surprise at the sight of Bucky. Bucky's uniform hid most of his face, but the hot pink chin was a little hard to miss. 

 

"Laugh and I'll kill you," Bucky said as Sam grabbed him and carted him up to the top of the roof. 

 

"Haha," Sam said dryly and flew away. 

 

"Heads up!" Steve yelled, and something shot past Sam, nearly clipping his wings. 

 

A firework exploded in the crowd of doombots, sending a large number of them careening towards the earth in a shower of colorful sparks and robot parts. 

 

"What the hell Cap?" Tony yelled through the comms. "How? Where?"

 

"We were gonna set it off at some point," Bucky explained from the roof. He was back to back with Clint. Sam supposed it made sense; their skill sets could be similar in certain situations. "We just got dyed pink before we could use it for something entertaining."

 

"I think exploding doombots is pretty entertaining," Steve, who was pink as well, argued, "watch out Thor, one's heading your way."

 

Thor ducked slightly and let the firework sail over his head.

 

"They sound like gunshots," Sam commented. 

 

"Gunshots don't echo," Natasha corrected. She was on a jetcycle, zooming around with a pair of guns and shooting everything not-Avenger that moved. Sam wondered how she was steering as she was shooting with two guns. 

 

"Am I needed?" Bruce asked.

 

"Not if this works," Steve said. "Tony, Sam, bring Bucky and Clint down to me."

 

Sam complied, grabbing Clint under his arms and dropping him off by Steve. 

 

Then Sam lost himself in the crowd of doombots, swirling around and striking and defending. He was focused and yet not, dedicated to the task while his mind sat in the backseat, placing himself solely in the physical part of himself. 

 

"Get down!" Clint screamed, and Sam dropped like a stone. When Clint tells you to get down, you goddamn listen. 

 

Something exploded above them, and Sam blinked, wiping it off his head. 

 

"Is this pudding?"

 

"Maybe," Steve answered, nudging a doombot with the toe of his shoe. He'd been fighting on the balcony of the tower with Clint and Bucky, a balcony which was now covered in pudding and robot parts. 

 

"Can I go back to sleep now? I was enjoying my Saturday," Natasha said. 

 

Sam realized she was in her pajamas and only wearing the cowl of her uniform. 

 

"Go ahead," Steve said. "I'll start clean up on the street." He turned his age disrupter on and headed for the elevator. 

 

There was silence. 

 

"You can applaud now," Bucky said. 

 

"You read my mind man," Clint said, "except I was going to say 'hold your applause.'"

 

Bucky grinned. 

 

"Did you three just defeat an army of doombots with a pudding bomb?" Tony asked. 

 

"Yep," Clint said proudly. 

 

"I fucking give up," Tony said in disgust, landing and grabbing Bruce by the arm. "Let's go science."

 

"Science isn't a verb!" Bruce protested weakly as they disappeared into the depths of the tower. 

 

"Well, I think I will go help the Captain," Thor said. "Good day Son of Wil."

 

Sam grinned at Clint and Bucky. 

 

"Wanna watch Pokemon?" Sam asked, digging in his backpack and pulling out his favorite Pokemon episode discs. 

 

"Hell yeah!" Clint cheered. 

 

"What's Pokemon?" Bucky asked. 

 

Sam and Clint traded looks. "Oh hell no, this ends now!" Sam announced, and they dragged him to the tower's entertainment center. 

 

When the next day, Bucky burst into the kitchen, yelled, "Arm! I choose you!" and launched his arm at Tony, it was all worth it. 

 

Especially when Tony screamed. 


End file.
